The Saga Of The Brazilian Nuts, Book 1: I never saw this coming
by Erberus-Chan
Summary: When Nico, Annabeth, Percy and Thalia are sent to rescue five demigods from the exotic country of Brazil, they never knew what they were in for. The fun loving girls will drive camp nuts. Warnings: Brazilian Stereotype as seen by brazilians, ooc, OCS, teetering on M rating, LANGUAGE. WE MEAN IT. Co-written with Grey-eyed Birdie.


**Disclaimer: We don't own PJO or HOO. There would be so much more fluff and crackiness otherwise. **

**AN: Hey guys! Almost done with the next chapter of Commander of Chaos, but during most of my available time this past few months my dear friend has stolen me to write this with her. If you actually read it until the end, I commend you.**

Ch 1 – I find tiny Brazilian nuts

Percy POV

"Annabeth, can you explain to me again the reason behind them not sending satyrs to fetch these guys and sending us instead? And how are we supposed to find them?" I asked for what must have been the thousandth time.

Thalia, Annabeth and Nico and I had been sent on a quest all the way down to Rio de Janeiro to fetch five demigods. Right in the middle of a series of protests. Currently, the group was walking in the center of Rio when, amongst the protesters they saw a hydra spit fire at one of the buildings. Most of them just kept going calmly, but five girls were running and yelling bloody murder.

"I think we found them Percy." Thalia growled sarcastically. She had come along hoping to recruit a demigod or another to the hunt. Thalia and I began on the hydra whilst Nico and Annabeth went after the girls.

It was quick. I chopped off the heads whilst Thalia blitz them with lightning to keep them from growing back. In a matter of minutes we were racing down the narrow streets we saw Annabeth go down with Nico.

We ran through the streets until we saw the seven of them stationed close to a Starbucks that had closed for the night. The girls looked scandalized for most part. They must be about fifteen and daughter of Aphrodite pretty. There was one red head, two brunettes, a blonde and a blonde with a purple streak in her hair.

The tallest girl, still at 5 foot six, was one of the brunettes, though her hair had highlights. She had fiery brown eyes and wore jeans and a long sleeved white shirt and was talking to Annabeth at a thousand miles a minute.

"Okay, just once more. You're saying that one of our parents is a Greek god, monsters are chasing after us and you guys are gonna haul us to a demigod training camp in New York, more specially Long Island?" she finished.

My head was spinning from the sheer speed of the words, only lightly colored with an accent, but Annabeth nodded. Sighing the brunette turned to the other girls and began chatting in rapid fire Portuguese. It seemed talking obscenely fast was a habit partaken by all of them. At one moment they looked to the first brunette, but she said something that made them turn to the other brunette and the blonde with the purple streak.

The brunette had honey brown hair, amber green eyes and wore a long sleeved, black Panic!At the disco shirt that showed of a tasteful amount of cleavage and had her waist length locks in a half pony tail, on her feet were checkered vans slip-ons.

The blonde had curly hair like Annabeth's and was wearing a long sleeved wine colored v neck and black high tops. They faced each other for a brief moment before the brunette eyed the campers, scrutinizing them before turning to the blonde, who had taken to eying them equally wary. After another glance at each other both nodded.

The first brunette turned to Annabeth again. "Fine. We'll trust you. I guess you should know our names, huh? I'm Bianca, the blonde in the wine colored shirt is Anna Clara, the girl in black shirt is Ana Paula, the red head is Maria Luiza and the other blonde is Leticia." Bianca said. "Well then, we better get going."

It had been a week since the fifteen year old Brazilians arrived and they had all turned out to be daughters of Apollo. They had taken us to their places to pack and get a bite before we shadow travelled to camp. The five girls insisted we call them by their nicknames.

Bibi, or Bianca, was the leader of the five girls. She was feisty at the best of times and ravenously angry at the worst. She had a sarcastic tongue and was not afraid to use it, but was an amazing friend when it came down to it.

Clarinha, or Anna Clara, was a funny girl. She adored cinema and all types of movie making. She had the most amazing reactions to things and could probably recite half her favorite books to you. Out of the five, only she and Ana were not dyslexic, which Clarinha made up for her extreme ADHD and Ana with her slight OCD.

Ana, or Ana Paula, had these huge and very expressive eyes. My puppy dog stare could not hold a candle to her. She was a reader, an author and an artist. The girl read on average one book a day, and made some amazing drawings that earned the "Rachel Approves" seal of approval. She had OCD that manifested in the oddest ways. She was messier than I was and yet, everything of hers was organized in such a way that everything had a reason and rhyme to it, even if she would have to spend about one hour explaining for you to understand. She and Clarinha were joint at the hip and, jointly, the brain of the group.

Le, or Leticia, was the peace maker of the group. She had very green eyes and an easy smile. She enjoyed the great outdoors and was a natural sprinter. More often than not she was up before five am, in a great mood and bestowing on those around her a natural sense of peace and serenity.

Malu, or Maria Luiza, was a light hearted girl that could play nearly any instrument. She seemed to be the comic of the five and loved cheering any of them up. She was the latest riser and enjoyed napping under the midday sun whenever she could sneak off from Will's watchful gaze.

All five had sweet voices that complemented each other very well.

That morning they were playing volley ball against five hunters. It was a five point match, and the Brazilians were at their fourth point until Clarinha gave a sharp spike and - "The campers win!" The satyr that was refereeing called.

"Woo!" The girls yelled. Grouping together they sang in unison:"É canja! É canja! É canja de galinha! Arranja outro time pra jogar na nossa linha!"

Then some Ares campers walked by and one muttered "Oh look, the little Brazilian whores having a little party."

The other four had to hold Bianca back, who was more than ready to rip off their heads. Nearly all of the male campers treated them badly, calling them whores amongst others, due to the Brazilian stereotype. The only ones who didn't were Nico, Jake Mason, Chris Rodriguez, Malcolm, Leo, Jason and I, being that Frank and most of the other Romans were all the way in Cali. The girls weren't nice to them either, actually they were much worse, only Annabeth, Thalia, Rachel and some of the cool girls took them for what they really were. I was surprised that Clarisse was one of these and Piper was not.

"Hey don't worry about it, she's just saying it because she's jealous," said Le. She, Annabeth, Rachel, Thalia and the other three Brazilians were sitting around Ana trying to comfort her after she was pitilessly insulted by a group of Aphrodite girls.

"Drew is such a bitch! Eu vou lá falar umas poucas e boas pra ela!" said Bianca, turning to leave.

"Ah, mas não vai mesmo!" cried Malu, pulling her back. "Você não vai lá fazer besteira e falar bobagem!"

"Guys! English please!" said Rachel

"Sorry. You're not going there to make things worse!" said Malu.

"Yeah, stuff is bad as it is!" said Clarinha.

"I'm just trying to help Ana!" complained Bibi.

"I don't need help! Guys don't you understand? I'm not sad, I'm mad!" yelled Ana. "I'm not crying of sadness I'm crying because I'm pissed! She can't say that stuff to me, you know. She thinks she's such a marvelous, beautiful person but she's not! She's just a fake, stupid bitch! But everyone forgets that because of her stupid charm speak! I wish there was some way we could just show this to everyone else, because they seem to be so dazzled with her awesomeness that they don't see she's a- she's just a- ai meus deuses eu nem sei como descrever aquela puta, escrota, sacana, que merda! Eu só to tão puta!"

"Okay, translation?" asked Thalia

"She basically just called Drew a couple of, hum... horrible things," said Malu.

"Horrible things?" Thalia wondered.

"Well, do you want me to repeat it?" joked the Brazilian.

"No, I guess I can work with 'horrible things'."

"I just wish there was a way we could get back at her," Rachel said quietly. "Drew needs to know she doesn't own and control everyone."

"Well, we could stuff your mouth with green gas and you can pretend to issue a prophecy about her breaking a nail or something. Or we could just throw a blue plastic hairbrush at her."

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny, Thalia"

"Green gas? What are you talking about? Weren't we talking about Drew?" asked Clarinha, who seemed to have driven off into one of her parallel universes.

"We're talking about pulling a prank on Drew, using Rachel's oracle abilities."

"I don't think it will work. There's no way for me to issue a real prophecy, at least not one like that, and I am definitely not filling my mouth with colored gas!" said Rachel with an air of finality.

"Guys, Drew is an Aphrodite kid, and, as much as I love some of them, Aphrodite kids are highly superficial and self centered, so if you want to screw Drew up you would have to hit her directly, or do something that would make her mad in front of the whole camp," reasoned Annabeth.

"Oh, I'd love to see that!" said Thalia. "Imagine: Drew and her gang of Barbie dolls being laughed at by the whole camp!"

"You've got quite a dark humor, Thalia. But I guess that would be fun," said Annabeth.

That thought seemed to lighten up the mood in the room for all the girls had now very wicked smiles on their faces.

"Hey, how about we play a volley ball match?" suggested Le.

"Only if it's Americans vs. Brazilians!" said Rachel.

"But then you need two more."

"We can call Piper and Katie," suggested Annabeth.

"Piper? She was totally on Drew's side today! She didn't even TRY to stop her!" Ana seemed scandalized by the thought of the Aphrodite girl joining the game.

"Yeah, I'm sorry Annabeth, but Piper has been a total bitch these past weeks. I know you like her and everything but I'm starting to wish my brother chose someone else to be his girlfriend," said Thalia, a disgusted look on her face. I couldn't help but notice the way she looked at the Brazilian girls, almost like one of them would be a better sister in law.

"Yeah, I guess you guys are right, but then we'll have to call Clarisse."

"No way! We can't call Clarisse," said Thalia.

"Why not?" asked Malu.

"Because then it'd be unbalanced! I mean, me, Annabeth AND Clarisse? It wouldn't be fair on you."

"Wouldn't be- oh, now we are definitely calling her! You Americans are going down!" Bibi cried.

"Fine then. Be prepared to lose miserably! And don't come crying in the end!" mocked Annabeth.

"Oh, you guys are so dead!" said Ana, now very excited and having completely forgotten the earlier events.

"It's on!" said Malu. Every one rose from the beds of cabin 9 and headed to the door.

Clarinha came back to real life and rose from her bed. "What's on?" she asked and everyone laughed and mocked her confused expression.


End file.
